Let’s talk Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day is about love and relationships; it’s like the Super Bowl of feelings. Before we get into the main topic, I asked a few of my friends to tell me their opinions on Valentine’s Day. “It’s a good chance for unaffectionate people and/or awkward people to show affection with less judgement”, says one friend. “I think most people think it’s just about romance but honestly I like to think it’s about both romantic and platonic relationships”, says the other friend. I completely agree, but that’s not want I wanted to talk about. On Valentine’s Day there’s a number of stereotypical types of people you may see. Let’s list some out.

1: The person with the highest expectations – No matter how much said person loves their significant other, if they get anything less than a chocolate Pegasus with a candy outfit riding in a blimp and screaming poetry, they are going to be extremely disappointed, and take it out on you.

2: That One Person Who Is Obsessed With Hallmark Movies – This person must be kept away from the person with the highest expectations if you don’t want to spend the rest of Valentine’s Day comforting a crying person in the bathroom.

3: The Person Who Forgot – “Oh no!” This person usually mutters early morning/late afternoon, realizing that they have forgotten a Valentine’s Day gift for their significant other, and is very quickly realizing it’s too late for same day delivery from 1-800-FLOWERS or some chocolate. No, no, no! This person is so done for.

4: The Chocolate Addict – To be fair, chocolate is a delicacy and doesn’t have its own holiday, so this is as good as it gets. When you ask this person what they plan on doing for Valentine’s Day, they say “chocolate!” As if it’s some sort of verb. To them, chocolate is everything.

5: The Person In A Committed Relationship – This is self explanatory. The two people in the committed relationship usually aren’t over the top lovey dovey, but still express their love for each other. Basically, this is the best thing to see on Valentine’s Day.

Those are all the stereotypical types of people you may find on Valentine’s Day. Most of them are good, but some not so much. Even though this is late and it’s not Valentine’s Day anymore, I hope everyone’s Valentine’s Day went well!

[Disclaimer: this article is opinion-based satire]